Liberation of Love

A message to you at 3 am

Don’t let fear or social convention keep you from feeling or expressing love.

Now is the time for the truth.

We all face transitioning at some point in our existence, and as painful as it feels typing this, there is freedom in knowing that we free ourselves when we know, feel, express, and accept love.

I love you.

cropped-yudhtz2i_400x400-1.jpg

shaman

grasping my hand

whispering in my ear

invoking into me,

“Heal!”

FA5EC8C8-A366-4A53-8B2D-7148F2255341

Dr. Cherie Ann Turpin, 2/2020

Grace: for us, for you, for me

Assuming youthful looks
changing
fading
disappearing
while remembering
you are/I am a child of God
your/my worth as a human being
centering
on loving yourself/myself
as you/I love others
while remembering
Paradise is within.

 

Soundcheck: getting better and healing old injuries

 

A poem is coming.
But first, a revelation as I heal and  recover more personal power…

2014-08-30 19.47.10

Soundcheck.
Most of my adult life I allowed people to tell me what my boundaries, needs, and spaces are or should be, what or who I should allow close to me, how I should react–mostly at my expense, emotionally and otherwise.
Black women are pressured into participating in our own gaslighting for the good of the collective, and those of us who question this way of thinking are perceived as troublesome or at the least hostile.  When silence prevails, boundaries, needs, and spaces are not respected or met.
I wanted to break that cycle.   It is one of the biggest reasons why I am, once again, back into therapy.
I am speaking of when communication is not happening, when consent and respecting boundaries, needs, and spaces are not being discussed or negotiated with regard to gaining and developing emotional access and intimacy.
As Black women we have the right to negotiate our own boundaries, as well as our own needs and spaces despite living in an environment that privileges men, particularly men with race and social class privilege.
Further, consent is not just about sexual contact, and  I am not talking about sex in this brief discussion.
Consent means mutually respecting boundaries, needs, and spaces when it comes to gaining and developing emotional access and intimacy.  It is also about people speaking up and speaking in a manner that is honest and free of passive-aggressive diction.
Finally, it is also about respecting each other’s humanity through communicating.
In short, do not assume I have or have not given consent.
Ask me.  Discuss it.  Negotiate consent as a reasonable person.
Ask questions and engage in discussion.  Challenge assumptions, and engage in discussions about mutual and different boundaries, needs, and spaces.
I refuse to play into others’ assumptions about me or other human beings, so please provide that same opportunity to me and others.
Communication is key in building respect and trust, and so is practicing consent.
Hear my voice.
IMG_8722 Dr. Cherie Ann Turpin

 

Goodnight, Year 52.

It’s been a good year for me. Welcome to my early to mid 50s. Seems like I need to consider expanding my creative voice a bit more and truly publish it much more, as well as complete what I need to send out into the academic ocean of voices. Love woke me from the slumber of despair, and it fuels my drive to continue my work. “Love is the law, love under will.”

0695097D-B503-4507-9AB2-708E5C0490A7

my nonacademic emotional mind lately

Anyone you choose to date or build a relationship with should know some basics about you–and you should know some basics about that person.

I’d rather know from the jump if a person is a homophobe/biphobe or some misogynistic creep. Absolutely not. Start out with honesty and clarity, and absolutely do not adjust your identity or pretend to be hetero for the world that privileges cis-heterosexuality. The way I see it folk who can’t deal with us and act a fool are helping me narrow the playing field over the long haul. A person who does not accept me as I am is not worthy of my time or energy. As you grow older you begin to realize that fact.

I don’t hide myself from anyone who wants to be in my space. Misogyny does not go away if I mask myself–and the closet then becomes a prison, and not just a private space. I’m saying that as a bi cis-woman I don’t think that the closet or pretending to be straight keeps me safe. In fact, it made things worse when I kept myself closeted.

I’d rather know up front what I’m dealing with.

I do what’s safe for me.

I’m out in my community, and I’m out to my family.

I know about domestic abuse, sexism, homophobia/transphobia/biphobia.

I know that some of our worst enemies come from our own, and make it a point of wishing negativity on our own for no other reason than “misery loves company.” I don’t do that to my own. I rebuke all negativity in the name of Jesus.

I also know enough about women’s history, Black history, and LGBTQ history to know that hiding yourself does not save you, or as Audre Lorde once wrote, “your silence will not save you.”

As such, I refuse to be silent in the face of bigotry. You do what you do and go in peace.

Follow your heart and rebuke the negativity. Anyone who does not respect your boundaries or objectifies you is unworthy of your energy or company. If for you that means no romance then so be it. Meditate on it, and follow what the Holy Spirit tells you about a person’s true intent.

0695097D-B503-4507-9AB2-708E5C0490A7