my nonacademic emotional mind lately

Anyone you choose to date or build a relationship with should know some basics about you–and you should know some basics about that person.

I’d rather know from the jump if a person is a homophobe/biphobe or some misogynistic creep. Absolutely not. Start out with honesty and clarity, and absolutely do not adjust your identity or pretend to be hetero for the world that privileges cis-heterosexuality. The way I see it folk who can’t deal with us and act a fool are helping me narrow the playing field over the long haul. A person who does not accept me as I am is not worthy of my time or energy. As you grow older you begin to realize that fact.

I don’t hide myself from anyone who wants to be in my space. Misogyny does not go away if I mask myself–and the closet then becomes a prison, and not just a private space. I’m saying that as a bi cis-woman I don’t think that the closet or pretending to be straight keeps me safe. In fact, it made things worse when I kept myself closeted.

I’d rather know up front what I’m dealing with.

I do what’s safe for me.

I’m out in my community, and I’m out to my family.

I know about domestic abuse, sexism, homophobia/transphobia/biphobia.

I know that some of our worst enemies come from our own, and make it a point of wishing negativity on our own for no other reason than “misery loves company.” I don’t do that to my own. I rebuke all negativity in the name of Jesus.

I also know enough about women’s history, Black history, and LGBTQ history to know that hiding yourself does not save you, or as Audre Lorde once wrote, “your silence will not save you.”

As such, I refuse to be silent in the face of bigotry. You do what you do and go in peace.

Follow your heart and rebuke the negativity. Anyone who does not respect your boundaries or objectifies you is unworthy of your energy or company. If for you that means no romance then so be it. Meditate on it, and follow what the Holy Spirit tells you about a person’s true intent.

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renewed refreshed heart, or riding mercury retrograde

old clothes and never worn shoes departed
wardrobe swept free and smudged down
lovely pause of mercury retrograde
releasing the past from the now
unfolding spilling dreams into freed space
and open arms

heart shaped red neon signage

For my listeners looking for old podcast favs!

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I do read my stats, and it is amazing what folk will do to find that hidden shortcut to older episodes.  I’m posting them here for your convenience, plus I’m sharing my fav guest call-in spots with my spiritual sister Afroerotik chatting about similar themes you all enjoyed in my own podcasts with Afroerotik calling in as my guest.  Enjoy!

My first episode with Afroerotik:  “At the Edge: Talking Erotics & Afrofuturism with AfroerotiK”

Talking Erotics & Afrofuturism with AfroerotiK: Part Two at http://tobtr.com/s/3941025.

My guest call in spots:

Race and Sexuality w/Tristan Taormino & Cherie Ann Turpin 07/26 by AfroerotiK | Blog Talk Radio.

Sex and Sensuality w/ “The Honey Diva” Tracey Bryant 09/13 by AfroerotiK | Blog Talk Radio.

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Who is the “you” and “I” in my poetry?

So, if you happen to know me, you may be wondering if I’m talking about you, or someone close to me or you. The answer is no. Yes. Maybe. Maybe not. Who gives a fuck? I’m writing about human experience and what we endure while living on this planet. I do include my twisted imagination and twisted reality and twisted feelings. I’m pretty strange in my flesh n blood world, so if my writing makes you feel a bit uncomfortable, welcome to my world. I might write about you one day. Let the world beware, said Catherine Tramell.

The Month is almost up. Not sure I feel like doing this in June. Holla at me and tell me.

Oh, and I’ve been holding back a bit. Look for me to just get straight up weird these last days.

language of fixation aka your gaze

I’ve thought about and pondered
how often you cum
all over your hairy lanky thighs
looking at and thinking about my ass
you love to stare at me
you squeeze my womanflesh
imagining a soft downy quim
you watching a woman walk
big round ass thighs
wearing tiny bikini panties
ass jiggling about
hardly or not contained in the thin fabric
ass cleavage riding revealing ass cheeks
painted bikini panties ass jiggle
not contained in wispy fabric
you flowing white milk on your hard thighs
you want to see those cheeks separating
revealing tight anal rosebud
and underneath
the softer wet rose petals
your thick veined hand
pushing me down
on my stomach spreadeagled
pulling me apart
how long would you just stare at me
do you want your cum
spraying all over yourself
or between my ass cheeks
or inside my ass
or inside my pussy
tell me what you think is happening
does it make you angry
seeing your body language
overprocessed
forced to focus
questioning the whole thing
there are no buts but butts
your language
rewired rebooted rebuttal
forced to focus again and again
requestioning
what does it mean to see your language
remastered remixed
are you capable of seeing yourself
as I see you
going down this path
between my ass cheeks
searching for a way inside
freeing yourself
you are moving
this is real
you know my body
you know my soul
you know the truth
of sliding up behind me
grinding yourself up against my ass
you know what you are going to do
no need to stop
love you feeling me
you moving
sliding up behind me
grinding yourself up against my ass
no need to stop
more than watching
more than admiring
miniskirts and fleshy thighs
you have to feel that reality
walk inside
I am waiting.

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.

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Merge

 

The thickness of the air between us
pistons between our bodies in
the twilight chill of an autumn evening
and it is an agony to not have courage to
make this moment tactile.

But there is nothing here stopping me from
reaching out to touch you
nothing keeping from
laying prostrate between my strong brown thighs
and it is flame that leaps from my hands to your face
like lightning under glass.

It is the freedom to touch that
which has become vastly discernible to us both
this power that would engulf us in a
hot, moist tunnel
squeezing and pushing
like a mother’s moment hovering
between life and death
when her child’s shiny head emerges
through purple, engorged lips seconds
before exploding into this world
of lights

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.

Magic Man

How you bespell me
Glamour me
Roll me
To give
To share
To not disappoint
To love and be loved
I am me
aqui
seeing you like a
glob of light