My Father the Teacher

My Dad taught me how to ride a bike
he took us to the park to fly kites
he took us on walks
he worked the night shift to feed us
he was there in my life

My Dad was also an angry man
as Black men living in America must be
because anger at injustice should be expected
but he also did what angry Black men do
he went to church even though he despised it
but even as he hated church
he still took us to church
he was there in my life

My Dad at 79 continues to teach me
even as i now teach him feminism and texting
even as we teach each other forgiveness
even as he continues to teach me
about the history of Black men in America
just as he taught me Black History as a child
he is here in my life.

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Letting Go

took me seven years
letting go of three I loved
another three years healing
my forties were fortunate
many moments of sorrow and silence
many nights drowned in fado
fado the river of music from tears
grief and wails pushing my raft downstream
without numbing myself or hiding
and by hiding i mean the usual suspects
we are told are helpful
but not even close
go find some fuckables to dick and dump
go find a husband or wife and breed
i chose to marry my very toxic love
my work
silent third suspect it is
until i finally learned
work is not warm enough to love you back
work is work
work is not love
work is what you do for others
but not your lover or spouse
and so i am free and unbonded
gave myself time to grow
seeking and finding meaning in me
letting go let me listen and wait
for the right one to share fate.

thinking of your cock right now

Sunday rain
coffee and buns
reading news
waiting for Sun.

seeing you see me see you see me see you

watching you watch me
as you look for that moment
when i don’t see you
watching me
and as i see you
seeing me see you
it is good to see you.

Consent part two

Consent matters
consent means
you ask
i ask
dont assume
dont just walk in
without asking
consent means
you consider
more than just
your space
your desires
your plans
your fantasies
your expectations
your needs
because anything else
renders
my voice
my feelings
my space
my dreams
my needs
invisible
consent means
you ask
before touching
my coat
my shoulder
my breasts
before
filling my space
filling my place
filling my face
consent means
you ask
because
you assuming
i say no
i say yes
based on
what you heard
about me
what you think
about my politics
about my opinion
of you
of your motivations
of your character
that are
are unknown until
you ask
says you dont
give a fuck
about me beyond
what you think
you can do to me
regardless
of injury or horror
your singularity
of your assumptions
do to
my body
my feelings
my soul
as you wreak damage
and dispose of me
even well intended
without asking
without consent
brings it all to
destructive ends
consent means
you acknowlege
you do not own me
you are not entitled
you are not a predator
you ask
because you see me
because you see my humanity
consent means
real possibilities
of dreams and desires
mutually fulfilled.

Consent part one

Never asked
Want to know the difference
between men and women
Who want to fuck
Who are feeling you
Women ask
what is the difference
between vanilla and bdsm couples
bdsm people discuss
write out
Boundaries
Limits
Safewords
What do
heteronormative vanilla
respectability addicted couples
use for safe words
Not a thing
Heterosexual men don’t
Recognize them as real
Never asked

trust

my father once told me
not to trust you
i trusted you enough
to tell you what he said
and your face changed
as if an arrow pierced you
i trust you enough to realize
i needed time to understand
why it hurt you
how it hurt you
when you believed
i did not trust you
when you thought
how i thought
you could not be trusted
but i do trust you
just as the empath in me
trusted the truth
of the unintended wound
of my words on your spirit
just as the karmic pull
of Saturn Retrograde demands
that i make amends
and apologise
for hurting you
just as the way i
now feel
impels me to say
trust me.

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