my nonacademic emotional mind lately

Anyone you choose to date or build a relationship with should know some basics about you–and you should know some basics about that person.

I’d rather know from the jump if a person is a homophobe/biphobe or some misogynistic creep. Absolutely not. Start out with honesty and clarity, and absolutely do not adjust your identity or pretend to be hetero for the world that privileges cis-heterosexuality. The way I see it folk who can’t deal with us and act a fool are helping me narrow the playing field over the long haul. A person who does not accept me as I am is not worthy of my time or energy. As you grow older you begin to realize that fact.

I don’t hide myself from anyone who wants to be in my space. Misogyny does not go away if I mask myself–and the closet then becomes a prison, and not just a private space. I’m saying that as a bi cis-woman I don’t think that the closet or pretending to be straight keeps me safe. In fact, it made things worse when I kept myself closeted.

I’d rather know up front what I’m dealing with.

I do what’s safe for me.

I’m out in my community, and I’m out to my family.

I know about domestic abuse, sexism, homophobia/transphobia/biphobia.

I know that some of our worst enemies come from our own, and make it a point of wishing negativity on our own for no other reason than “misery loves company.” I don’t do that to my own. I rebuke all negativity in the name of Jesus.

I also know enough about women’s history, Black history, and LGBTQ history to know that hiding yourself does not save you, or as Audre Lorde once wrote, “your silence will not save you.”

As such, I refuse to be silent in the face of bigotry. You do what you do and go in peace.

Follow your heart and rebuke the negativity. Anyone who does not respect your boundaries or objectifies you is unworthy of your energy or company. If for you that means no romance then so be it. Meditate on it, and follow what the Holy Spirit tells you about a person’s true intent.

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For my listeners looking for old podcast favs!

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I do read my stats, and it is amazing what folk will do to find that hidden shortcut to older episodes.  I’m posting them here for your convenience, plus I’m sharing my fav guest call-in spots with my spiritual sister Afroerotik chatting about similar themes you all enjoyed in my own podcasts with Afroerotik calling in as my guest.  Enjoy!

My first episode with Afroerotik:  “At the Edge: Talking Erotics & Afrofuturism with AfroerotiK”

Talking Erotics & Afrofuturism with AfroerotiK: Part Two at http://tobtr.com/s/3941025.

My guest call in spots:

Race and Sexuality w/Tristan Taormino & Cherie Ann Turpin 07/26 by AfroerotiK | Blog Talk Radio.

Sex and Sensuality w/ “The Honey Diva” Tracey Bryant 09/13 by AfroerotiK | Blog Talk Radio.

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I use your insults against me as poetry

So yes, folk, I do get fan letters. I also get trolls. And then there’s spies who look at my social media for the purpose of running my name up and down hallways because they have nothing better to do, which is ironic, considering the fact that most of them get bigger paychecks than me. In fact one of them sent a nasty note to me via FB msgr whining about me being “sexually frustrated, anal retentive, and racist.” Someone, probably a man who really resents my voice on matters like consent and privilege, wrote this whiny set of accusations. I’m petty enough to use it in the next three poems in a short series called the accusations. Use it, said Blade to Whistler. Use it.

 

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Who is the “you” and “I” in my poetry?

So, if you happen to know me, you may be wondering if I’m talking about you, or someone close to me or you. The answer is no. Yes. Maybe. Maybe not. Who gives a fuck? I’m writing about human experience and what we endure while living on this planet. I do include my twisted imagination and twisted reality and twisted feelings. I’m pretty strange in my flesh n blood world, so if my writing makes you feel a bit uncomfortable, welcome to my world. I might write about you one day. Let the world beware, said Catherine Tramell.

The Month is almost up. Not sure I feel like doing this in June. Holla at me and tell me.

Oh, and I’ve been holding back a bit. Look for me to just get straight up weird these last days.

my turn #30days #30days2018 by Cherie Ann Turpin

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my terms

my turn

talk about it without the deflecting

pause on gaslighting me

pause on gaslighting to mansplain me as damaged

gaslight designed to dismiss me as damaged goods

as if women are “goods” for exchange

as if the damage itself makes me not believable or trustworthy

rape survivors do still like sex

on our terms

we are human beings

not sex dolls

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.

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“We’ve been turned away from our bodies, shamefully taught to ignore them, to strike them with that stupid sexual modesty; we’ve been made victims of the old fool’s game: each one will love the other sex. I’ll give you your body and you’ll give me mine. But who are the men who give women the body that women blindly yield to them? Why so few texts? Because so few women have as yet won back their body. Women must write through their bodies, they must invent the impregnable language that will wreck partitions, classes and rhetorics, regulations and codes, they must submerge, cut through, get beyond the ultimate reverse-discourse, including the one that laughs at the very idea of pronouncing the word ‘silence’, the one that, aiming for the impossible, stops short before the word ‘impossible’ and writes it as ‘the end.'” — Helene Cixous, from Laugh of the Medusa

(not) edge #30days #30days2018 by Cherie Ann Turpin

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you living in the shadows

you demanding my trust

you see that word feminist and

your dick gets soft because

you fear rejection

you won’t be able to take me to the edge

you kept yourself limited to one definition of edge

shadow blind because

the edge is in many spaces and

not just in one space or place

no singularity of edge and

you missed that in

your eagerness to catch me off guard and

what makes you think

your vision of edge is everybody else’s edge?

you get all pissy

about expressing feelings or

you get all pissy

about limits and trigger exposure while

revealing

you are unworthy of trust when

it comes to my physical and psychological safety so

that’s not edge

that’s predatory

working on that issue

unpacking your fear of rejection by strong women

that’s edgy

that’s sexy

that’s worthy of my trust

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.