Soundcheck: getting better and healing old injuries

A poem is coming.
But first, a revelation as I heal and  recover more personal power…

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Soundcheck.
I’ve spent most of my adult life allowing people to tell me what my boundaries, needs, and spaces are or should be, what or who I should allow close to me, how I should react–mostly at my expense, emotionally and otherwise.
Black women are pressured into participating in our own gaslighting for the good of the collective, and those of us who question this way of thinking are perceived as troublesome or at the least hostile.  When silence prevails, boundaries, needs, and spaces are not respected or met.
I wanted to break that cycle.   It’s one of the biggest reasons why  I went back into therapy.
I am speaking of when communication is not happening, let alone consent or respecting boundaries, needs, and spaces when it comes to gaining and developing emotional access and intimacy.
As Black women we have the right to negotiate our own boundaries, as well as our own needs and spaces despite living in an environment that privileges men, particularly men with race and social class privilege.
By the way, consent is not just about sex, and  I am not talking about sex.
It is about mutually respecting boundaries, needs, and spaces when it comes to gaining and developing emotional access and intimacy.  It’ is also about people speaking up and speaking in a manner that is  honest and  free of passive aggressive diction.   Finally, it is also about respecting each other’s humanity through communicating.
In short, don’t assume and refuse to play into others’ assumptions about you. Instead, ask questions and engage in discussion.  Challenge the assumptions, definitely engage in discussions about mutual and different boundaries, needs, and spaces.
Communication is key in building respect and trust, and so is practicing consent.
Hear my voice.
IMG_8722 Dr. Cherie Ann Turpin

 

X-mas Eve Post Sleep Study Finding

I hated the wires.

I could not find a comfortable sleeping position.

I hated the pillows.

I hated the glue and tape on my head.

I awoke aroused at the edge of morning.

I am at the edge of menopause.

I am still fertile.

I must be ovulating.

I woke up feeling that familiar flush beneath my Moroccan gown.

I am a woman in my fifties recovering from a grand mal seizure.

I am absolutely insatiable, sexually. 

I also desire something more.

I desire to feel, share, give, exchange, and receive love.

I am absolutely giddy this morning.

I guess a roadblock is finally down.

— cat, Dec 24, 2019, 6:20 AM EST

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…thinking of an anthology on desire and being different abled…

Join us in this conversation and contribute to what will be an anthology series, podcasts, seminar series! A CFP is coming!

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Dr. Cherie Ann Turpin

Takes a certain edge and drive to turn a health event like a grand mal seizure into a conversation about age, ability, and erotic desire.  Turn on your vibrator and start writing.

Under the Hood: Gums, Teeth, Vaginas, and Blood

Every once in a while, I like to get a check-up, see if everything’s working under the hood, especially as the year begins to wind down a bit, and especially since Mercury Retrograde is about to arrive on Samhain aka Halloween.

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Samhain

I usually don’t anticipate emergencies or crises in my everyday personal life, but I work in a high-stress environment with constant contact with the public, plus my research, teaching, and committee work tends to put me over the top in terms of stress levels and workload.  There’s something I have been missing lately:

Rest.

This blog has become a part of my workload.

Visiting the doctor should relax me, but as a Black woman, the white coat syndrome always pops up for me, regardless of the reason for my medical visit.  What should relax me actually makes me even more anxious than dealing with my job.

You get the idea.

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I usually do my doc visits around this time of year, and this time I decided to see my psychologist, my dentist, and my gynecologist within a two week period, which usually leads to the other things–followups for more dental work, mammograms, colon checks, etc.

At age 53 I am beginning to realize that my blood pressure isn’t as reliable as I thought it was, and chances are high that I’m going to have to make even more changes than the weight loss I accomplished this year.

One change involves me becoming much more informed about drug interaction and spacing out medical appointments a bit more generously.

Here’s a couple takeaways for you since you’ve taken the time to read my post today.

When you go to the dentist, do make sure (if you are having work requiring gum anesthesia) that you

  • 1) remind your dentist if you have hypertension; and
  • 2) do a frequent check of your blood pressure for about 12-24 hours after the procedure.

Could save your life, and keep you from stroking out or having a cardiac arrest.

Why?

Because until last Thursday, I had no idea that Novocain could cause me to have stroke-ready/cardiac arrest-ready blood pressure.

Where was I?

At the gynecologist waiting for my pelvic exam and pap smear, which ultimately did not happen because my blood pressure was off the charts.  I got as close as being stark naked, save for my socks, but no stirrups or breast exam that day. That’s right–she would not do the exam because my blood pressure was too high.

After having them do my blood and urine tests–which I insisted on because otherwise that whole day out in suburbia would have been a waste–I spent two hours sitting in ER having more tests done before going home and having to monitor my blood pressure.

We are fully in the shadow of Mercury Retrograde, and last week was the beginning of me having to alter my whole way of thinking about my blood pressure and my health overall.   As I get through the rest of fall semester and plan out my podcast episodes, I will need to plan for real resting points.

Everything else besides my blood pressure checked out well for me.  I am healthy, sane, well-balanced in my thinking, which is great for me, and even a relief that my attention to my blood pressure will help me learn how to not allow my work environment to harm my well-being or take me from my sense of grace.

Take your medicine on schedule (I do!), and stay informed — save your own life.

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Dr. Cherie Ann Turpin

I should write about tongues and teeth…..

Home from the dentist: What started out as a $50-75 bill became a $875 bill (payment plan, folks!). Having a metal filling replaced costs MONEY–and apparently this one could not wait…..so now I’m post dentist visit several hours later with a numb mouth and a temporary filling before the permanent replacement…..at least it didn’t hurt.

Of course, I started thinking about many things having to do with tongues, teeth, saliva, taste.  The oral implications and thoughts about surrendering oneself to probes, needles, picks, depressors, and gloved hands.  Swallowing and spitting.

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Dr. Cherie Ann Turpin

 

2019 Coming Out Day

I’m bisexual*, poly-friendly*, leather-kink friendly, intersectional/Black feminist, femme, and I identify as queer*.
*bisexual means I love women AND men AND non-gender/gender-fluid people
*poly means polyamory, and poly-friendly means I am happy in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship
*queer means for me I don’t fit into a nice neat box, plus my leather-femme identity as a submissive is not categorizable
#ComingOutDay
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sunday arousal

like a startled fairy
up and blinking at
sudden appearance of light
in the shade
one of those Sundays
seems though the silence
still of the air hovering
like clouds
I await the storm

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