riptide dream

panic swell drag
roiling memories
buried under deep sea
now a swirling riptide
as I swim towards shore
grateful to not drown
as I am pulled closer
towards morning light

photography of body of water

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Tumble

tumbling into intimacy
touching souls between the lines
without bodies touching
took a minute to notice
how i got to this floor with you

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feel me #30days

rush of you
like a wave
inside me
may drown me
like a bag full of marbles
hanging over the side of my bed
my neck is rubber
I bend my torso likewise
breath of victory moves within me
like a troubling storm swelling
you meet my rolling contractions
riding your fiery chariot
with relentless heat

eye of the storm image from outer space

a few film directors who influence me…

…..and some thoughts from their philosophical approaches to their art–not the only ones btw, just ones who stand out career-wise:

David Cronenberg:

Everybody’s a mad scientist, and life is their lab. We’re all trying to experiment to find a way to live, to solve problems, to fend off madness and chaos.
Censors tend to do what only psychotics do: they confuse reality with illusion.
I see technology as being an extension of the human body.
Sex is a doorway to something so powerful and mystical, but movies usually depict it in a completely flat way.
My cow is not pretty, but it is pretty to me.
You’re right on the money with that. We’re all like detectives in life. There’s something at the end of the trail that we’re all looking for.
I really, sincerely believe that one should trust the work, and not the author.
I have often thought it was very arrogant to suppose you could make a film for anybody but yourself.
I am certain that there are two things in life which are dependable, the delights of the flesh and the delights of literature.
Last but not least, Catherine Breillat (name drop moment: I met Catherine Breillat in the early 2000s at European Graduate School in Saas-Fee, Switerland–she taught a class on her film work to a class that included a small but very angry set of young, privileged white American men who spent their time trolling her instead of gaining insight on how she produced her work):
…the basic theme is the dichotomy of womanhood. the woman cut in two. every society creates laws to exercise power over women and exclude certain parts of the woman…
If I haven’t found out who I am until the end of my life…because I am afraid/ashamed of it, then I would have just pretended to live. Intimacy really means to find something out about yourself that is deep inside.
I am eternally, devastatingly romantic, and I thought people would see it because ‘romantic’ doesn’t mean ‘sugary.’ It’s dark and tormented — the furor of passion, the despair of an idealism that you can’t attain.

close up photo of camera lens

trade off

how much

of ourselves

are we willing

to give up

to suppress

to silence

to ignore

for respectability

depending on

what the self is?

pexels-photo.jpg

 

Subject of desire [retrofit]

what is desire
if denial of desire becomes in of itself
a desire?
for you/I cannot be acknowledged to exist as a desiring subject
and you think you may both drown
not enough time to think or project
not enough time to believe anything else but pleasure
not enough guilt to walk away
not enough mercy to know when clear becomes red
not enough control to hear the safe word
we both struggle to see
before the breaking of morning
when you/I know in these few seconds left
love is possible.

flower roses red roses bloom

ecstasy #30days

aurora blink capture
swift riding chariot
across fire ocean rush

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