First day back–old office packed up, key acquired, meetings attended–big thanks to Helene, Ada, Aparajita, William, Stacy, and Gregory for helping me get things sorted out today! Love my new office!
I hated the wires.
I could not find a comfortable sleeping position.
I hated the pillows.
I hated the glue and tape on my head.
I awoke aroused at the edge of morning.
I am at the edge of menopause.
I am still fertile.
I must be ovulating.
I woke up feeling that familiar flush beneath my Moroccan gown.
I am a woman in my fifties recovering from a grand mal seizure.
I am absolutely insatiable, sexually.
I also desire something more.
I desire to feel, share, give, exchange, and receive love.
I am absolutely giddy this morning.
I guess a roadblock is finally down.
— cat, Dec 24, 2019, 6:20 AM EST
I don’t remember what I dreamed, but my mother said I was laughing while I slept, which means I was deep in REM sleep, a very good sign. I sleep skyclad, aka nude. I informed my neurologist that I would be nude when doing the sleep study.
When she told me there would be technologists observing me, I shrugged and told her I don’t care, which is very true. I prefer being naked while sleeping, and I’d probably fit in nicely at a nudist colony.
A poem is coming.
Join us in this conversation and contribute to what will be an anthology series, podcasts, seminar series! A CFP is coming!
Takes a certain edge and drive to turn a health event like a grand mal seizure into a conversation about age, ability, and erotic desire. Turn on your vibrator and start writing.
Happy Samhain aka Happy Mercury Retrograde aka Happy Halloween!
Talk about Mercury Retrograde–I cannot drive until I get cleared from my neurologist.
I had a grand mal seizure Tuesday afternoon after a pretty pleasant English faculty meeting. I suffer from high blood pressure and intracranial hypertension aka pseudo tumor. One minute I was standing up to go get my jacket that was still in the office, and 20 minutes later I was quivering in a small pool of urine waking up to my colleagues trying to keep me calm as the EMTs attempted to put me on a stretcher with straps to get me to hospital. I was not very cooperative, I’m afraid, but I ended up in ER with my colleagues Aparajita (from my last podcast, remember?) and Helene riding with me in the ambulance. Many thanks go out to April (another one of my podcasts this year) who was able to calm me down enough to keep me from running away from the EMTs–I really do have a problem with people in uniform telling me what to do.
Several hours later I was home after being prodded and poked and examined. I’ve already seen my GP and I will see my neurologist the same day I see my shrink.
Unrelated visits but both downtown.
I hate not being able to drive without a doctor’s approval.
I can still write, though.
Every once in a while, I like to get a check-up, see if everything’s working under the hood, especially as the year begins to wind down a bit, and especially since Mercury Retrograde is about to arrive on Samhain aka Halloween.
I usually don’t anticipate emergencies or crises in my everyday personal life, but I work in a high-stress environment with constant contact with the public, plus my research, teaching, and committee work tends to put me over the top in terms of stress levels and workload. There’s something I have been missing lately:
This blog has become a part of my workload.
Visiting the doctor should relax me, but as a Black woman, the white coat syndrome always pops up for me, regardless of the reason for my medical visit. What should relax me actually makes me even more anxious than dealing with my job.
You get the idea.
I usually do my doc visits around this time of year, and this time I decided to see my psychologist, my dentist, and my gynecologist within a two week period, which usually leads to the other things–followups for more dental work, mammograms, colon checks, etc.
At age 53 I am beginning to realize that my blood pressure isn’t as reliable as I thought it was, and chances are high that I’m going to have to make even more changes than the weight loss I accomplished this year.
One change involves me becoming much more informed about drug interaction and spacing out medical appointments a bit more generously.
Here’s a couple takeaways for you since you’ve taken the time to read my post today.
When you go to the dentist, do make sure (if you are having work requiring gum anesthesia) that you
- 1) remind your dentist if you have hypertension; and
- 2) do a frequent check of your blood pressure for about 12-24 hours after the procedure.
Could save your life, and keep you from stroking out or having a cardiac arrest.
Because until last Thursday, I had no idea that Novocain could cause me to have stroke-ready/cardiac arrest-ready blood pressure.
Where was I?
At the gynecologist waiting for my pelvic exam and pap smear, which ultimately did not happen because my blood pressure was off the charts. I got as close as being stark naked, save for my socks, but no stirrups or breast exam that day. That’s right–she would not do the exam because my blood pressure was too high.
After having them do my blood and urine tests–which I insisted on because otherwise that whole day out in suburbia would have been a waste–I spent two hours sitting in ER having more tests done before going home and having to monitor my blood pressure.
We are fully in the shadow of Mercury Retrograde, and last week was the beginning of me having to alter my whole way of thinking about my blood pressure and my health overall. As I get through the rest of fall semester and plan out my podcast episodes, I will need to plan for real resting points.
Everything else besides my blood pressure checked out well for me. I am healthy, sane, well-balanced in my thinking, which is great for me, and even a relief that my attention to my blood pressure will help me learn how to not allow my work environment to harm my well-being or take me from my sense of grace.
Take your medicine on schedule (I do!), and stay informed — save your own life.