Category Archives: being human

respect for hairy harry! a man i’d happily run off with…..

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i dont make any rules, stalker-predator…i go with the flow……

Liars with dicks and cash run DC

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“A Golden Rule that’s wholly decontextualized and dehistoricized can be a gag preventing us from speaking the truth and silencing all but the most powerful.”

“……How does a republic deal with parties that lie nonstop? There’s never been an easy answer. Whatever it is, it’s not “civility and grace” alone, because they alone do not work.”

I think this definitely applies to the train wreck that is currently UDC. An opinion i have a right to express, especially given what i have experienced these last few years……and witnessed, first-hand….from a variety of angles and intersections…..don’t assume you know what im talking about–ask me.

Mind your business b4 i hurt your feelings

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So, someone — a student perhaps– thought it a wonderful idea to blast my Instagram account with heteronormative christian podcasts–as if that would cure my queerness or kinkyness–not sorry–wrong Sista. You can’t handle my “lifestyle,” mind your business and leave me alone. This is one femme you really should not fuck with, especially given these cramps i’m just barely tolerating tonight…..

no shame, no fear

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Read below with this soundtrack:

yes I still love you

i love you enough to leave you alone while you figure how to be you till you figure out what that means when it comes to me

remember, i didn’t reject you–and i didn’t cut you off.

You did both to me for no reason and no explanation.

You did lots more to me for no reason and no explanation.

Can’t really say I’m the crazy one or the angry one or the untrustworthy one, can you? And that after you told people I was both AFTER you did your dirt to me.

And I still love you. You seem to view that as a weakness or delusion, and I suppose I should expect that from someone who is indifferent to my existence beyond whatever purpose stamped on my forehead in your mind. I am a cog in a wheel according to you, something I would expect of someone who took my emotions and ran through them like a handful of coins at a slot machine in a casino. A quick mental thrill for a middle-aged man somewhere in America who saw me as a momentary mental amusement to calm the nerves, a big tit/big ass chick to help you laugh and get your dick hard–or at least capable of blood flow. A sex doll without telling her she’s playing such a part, a robot without knowledge of her status.

And right now, you STILL could talk to me. Remember, you didn’t set boundaries, and then suddenly you built a lovely wall around yourself and told yourself and other people that I cut you off. Okay, if you say so. I did no such thing.

I tended to myself, and now I keep to myself knowing that even if situations don’t work out, you learn and heal. As you observe, I’m doing exactly that. I forgave you, and now I am moving on and moving forward–and just like that, I’ve started getting nibbles on my love ad. Good signs for me. It means I’m sending out attraction energy that folk sense as potentially worthy of a follow-up. No rush, but I think it is time for me to stop neglecting another part of my emotional and physical health–I need more than my vibrator, especially with me no longer limited by obesity or other health issues. I have a sex drive that needs care and a sex toy won’t substitute for human connection or love. Time to find a match.

I love you, but I’m not a nun or a loyal fan. I’m a human being seeing what’s real and what’s fairyland and stepping up towards healthy paths. To me, your silence says you got what you wanted and I’m a loopy broad who got played by you. If I misread you and you feeling something else, speak up and tell the truth for a change.

At this stage, I see no reason for me to approach you to say anything–your whole setup was designed to produce the result you got with the added benefit of disposing of me conveniently while leaving me emotionally wrecked and drained, which means you intended to drain and dump emotionally from the start and the pandemic made it really easy for you to do that. You probably did this to 4-5 different people at once online or via one of your cell phones.

Nice con game, actually, if you are into that sort of thing.

On the other hand, I am open to talking to you, hearing your perspective, perhaps even forgiving you. But that’s gotta come from you. I don’t approach people who show their ass to me like you did last year with such glee, as if you had never been so eager to jab that knife in my throat. Must be a phallic thing for you.

Anyway.

Let’s see if you still own your own balls. These days I wonder.

Are you absent because she put you on lock-down with that chastity belt with the anal plug again? Having some issues with that Brazilian wax job and your perineum again?

You really do make it too easy to poke at you a bit. I really am giving you a chance to repair the damage with the knowledge that you don’t give a fuck and that you wrote me off the moment you did what you did because you find weak targets like me quite entertaining and satisfying to conquer, consume, and discard. I expect ZERO from you given your track record with me. I’m simply daring you to call my bluff just for the fuck of it: are you really that much of a misogynistic, predatory asshole who is incapable of speaking a truthful sentence, so much so you can’t speak a word to me?

We have plenty of predatory assholes on the planet who talk plenty of shit to me: what’s sttopping you? And iif you are not a predatory asshole, why were you a predatory asshole to me, and how would I know that so-called fact when you don’t talk to me–and you didn’t tell me much when you did talk to me?

can’t say i rejected you, cut you off, didn’t give you a chance–here it is, take it: we know you were full of shit, had no sincere intent but how bout now, nigga?

Time to get myself ready for a new lover?

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how did i stop your bitch ass, stalker-predator?

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I said yes, gave you consent, told you I’d take it rough, take it like a whore from behind, take it up the ass, suck you deep-throat style and swallow every load of cum and let you slap me when you finished, all the things you know you really want but can’t get from a nice, clean woman with a good rep–and now you can’t imagine being so dirty with me.

Why not, pervy man? Not even a compliment on my pussy photo or nipple photo?

In other words, consent itself turns you off.

What’s that make you, besides a sex offender not yet on the registry?

dear stalker-predator,

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if you are not stalker or a predator, why do you keep coming back?

Why did you show up as ‘francois’ on my fetlife profile looking for pussy pix from me?

now you know what’s really going on with me…..did it get you off, get you hard, make you wonder why you did not do what you wanted to do to me the first time you walked with me to your building — past my car…..yeah i did notice it…..part of you sees me as untouchable because you think i’m nuts but another part of you is very much turned on for the same reasons and on top of it you are turned on by my very weird sexuality that pretty much allows you to do some very edgy things you mostly don’t see 54 year old educated middle class God-believing Black chicks do or talk about….yeah i get it you really are trying to figure out how to fuck me and so check out pornhub and rub out a couple i guess if it helps you think up a plan to actually come out from the shadows and just ask me for consent……like an adult…..because it means you have to hold yourself accountable as a Black man who is privileged……and that’s not your way, is it, pretty man?
How many Sisters have you used and trashed to enjoy that privilege, nigga?
I ain’t afraid of you.
Clearly, you fear me, instead. You fear Black women who throw that energy right back at you.

Dick a little limp from all those meds, old man? Look all you like, you cannot touch me without asking me first and that pisses you off, doesn’t it? After all that effort you still have yet to get even close to your goals. Gave me plenty for my own work and pushed me into another phase of my lifework.

Imagine that: you, a sexual predator, unwittingly coaching me into successfully dismantling the misogynistic psychological damage wreaking havoc on my body and mind done by a rapist–and doing it without physically touching me…..you do have consent to touch me but we both know you won’t do that because you don’t have absolute power and control, so you cancelled yourself, and now you have no one to blame but yourself since i did not reject you….don’t you feel like a winner?

You’ve made it worthwhile for the man or woman who is brave enough to step to me once i’ve healed properly…..thanks!

dear stalker-predator i have no idea what it’s like to go through this process as a man, but

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……i have a feeling you have some sense–at least two of you do (you do know there’s a dark version of you following me–several predators to be exact).

…..seems you ‘groomed’ me into a quite a lure for men like you and, like a rose in the middle of a glacier in the Matterhorn I appear….oblivious to the coldness of the ground that sustains me from deep below.

…..did you enjoy watching it?

retail therapy to adjust to my new body

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……part of it is about size, part of it is about gender, part of it is about familial history/drama…..feeling like i need to claim my body back from everybody so ii can live fully…..even got my period back as if my fertility is back…..why, at 54? then again so much of my life right now reads out of Old Testament/Torah, feels like it…..Sarah/Sara–just one of many heroines from the Old Testament and the New Testament…..Christianity is definitely one foundation i continue to work with–within a Black Feminist LGBTQIA+/Leather/Polyamorous context…….especially as I struggle as a different abled femme queer person in a male-dominant heteronormative able-bodied work environment pretending to bee equitable and friendly (I work in a very hostile environment that openly makes its hostility to its occupants known while purporting to care about them–that what it means to be Black in DC when you are not a VIP or married to one)……shopping for cheap, cheesy clothes helps me relax after a very tense month complete with seizures, hospital stays, multiple trips to therapists, and lots of THC and CBD to ease the sharpness of pain…..along with my vibrator…..[sigh]

yeah…….

you haven’t asked me yet about my magick, as in how it is? Any telekinesis lately? Mind your business…..

……dancer’s body, huh? …..partially…….tits too big for that, but yes, even when i was fat i loved taking African dance at Howard……..Katherine Dunham technique helped me build my thighs and buttocks…….pretty much the exercise routine ive used all these years, which is why and how i kept my face from falling after losing weight…..and kept my ass taut……healing…….like a soldier……so now I repair my body and mind, then pick up my sword and rejoin the battle.

The war continues, comrade. What, you thought i was some weak ass fucking bitch gone let some creepy ass stalker-predator get my head all fucked up so he could piss in my face? fuck that shit — you might be taller than me, bigger than me, but i ain’t scared of you, nigga…..i don’t quit.

Somebody needs a job! Asst Prof/English

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Position TitleTenure-Track Assistant Professor, English
DepartmentEnglish Department
Position CategoryFaculty
About CCRIThe Community College of Rhode Island is the states only public comprehensive associate degree-granting institution. We provide affordable open access to higher education at locations throughout the state. Our primary mission is to offer recent high school graduates and returning adults the opportunity to acquire the knowledge and skills necessary for intellectual, professional and personal growth through an array of academic, career and lifelong learning programs. At CCRI, we are committed to building an inclusive and diverse campus community. We strive to hire and retain culturally competent faculty and staff members who reflect the demographics of our state and our increasingly diverse student population. We believe that our diversity is our strength. We celebrate, support and thrive on the diverse experiences, backgrounds, and perspectives that are represented across our four campuses. We are OneCCRI, working together to prepare learners to achieve their highest potential. To learn about what employees value at CCRI and what it means to work here, please read about our Guiding Principles and watch videos of our employees doing what they do best:
https://ccri.edu/hr/current_employees/culture/guidingprinciples.html
Job SummaryTo teach a range of developmental and college-level courses, including Compensatory Writing Skills, Basics of Composition, College Writing, Composition I and II, and Literature courses.
Duties and ResponsibilitiesCommitment to CCRI’s Mission:
• Demonstrate a commitment to the philosophy and mission of a comprehensive community college.
• Work collaboratively in a diverse, inclusive and student-centered environment, with students of various learning styles, cultures, identities, and life-experiences. Effective Teaching:
• Possess thorough and accurate knowledge of specific field/discipline, including evaluating and applying content.
• Be committed to professional development by keeping current in respective discipline.
• Use available instructional technology, as appropriate.
• Use a variety of proven methods of engagement and assessment that facilitate
student mastery of the content.
• Evaluate student learning by creating and applying course competencies and
• accurately evaluating student progress.
• Strive to increase teaching effectiveness through the application of appropriate
teaching and learning strategies; evaluate student learning and modify
instructional methods and strategies as appropriate to meet diverse student
needs. Instructional Skills:
• Engage in high-quality instruction in a diverse, inclusive, and student-centered environment with students of various learning styles, cultures, identities, and life-experiences.
• Select and develop instructional materials; plan and organize instruction to enhance student learning; create appropriate assignments to encourage student learning and develop communication skills according to a course’s learning outcomes.
• Evaluate student performance in meeting course objectives and student learning outcomes, and provide feedback in a timely manner to student inquiries in class, online, or during established office hours.
• Use technology to enhance instruction and communicate effectively with the campus community. Communication Skills:
• Communicate effectively orally, verbally, and in writing.
• Work collaboratively with department colleagues.
• Demonstrate interpersonal and communication skills that result in clear communication of subject matter to the students.
• Provide timely, substantive feedback in appropriate forms.
• Provide support for both adjunct and full-time colleagues in the form of consultation and cooperation; work as effective team members when required.
• Treat all college community members with dignity and respect, demonstrating professional, courteous behavior and engaging in constructive conflict resolution when needed. Departmental Support:
• Participate in college activities, including committee work.
• Participate in department initiatives and events.
• Travel and teach at multi-campus locations as required by department needs.
• Other duties as required.
Minimum Requirements• Master’s Degree within the discipline or a Master’s Degree with at least 18 graduate hours within the teaching discipline, required.
• A minimum of two (2) years of teaching experience, required.
Competencies and Desired QualificationsThe most suitably qualified candidate will possess the following:
• Experience teaching at the collegiate level
• Concentration in Composition/Rhetoric
• Strong communication, organizational, and interpersonal skills, and a collaborative approach to working with students and colleagues
• Outstanding class management skills, including maintaining a positive class climate, timely grade submission, and using technology tools to communicate with students and college faculty/staff
• Experience with teaching accelerated writing courses and/or integrated reading and writing courses
• Demonstrated ability to employ best online teaching practices within a Learning Management System, such as Blackboard
• Ability to work independently and with minimal supervision

Position Details

Full-Time/Part-TimeFull-Time
FLSAExempt
Pay GradeN/A
Salary Information$54,325 – $58,758
BenefitsFull-time employees enjoy an array of benefits, including: • Comprehensive Health Benefits and Rewards for Wellness Incentives
• Paid Time Off
• Parental Leave
• In-State Tuition Waivers
• Legal Care Insurance For a complete listing, visit: https://ccri.edu/hr/benefits/index.html
Collective Bargaining UnitCCRI Faculty Association
Reports ToDepartment Chair
Permanent/Limited positionPermanent
Position End Date
Academic/Calendar YearAcademic
Work Schedule InformationAcademic Year – 40 hours/week
Campus LocationMulti-Campus Locations
Civil Service List positionNo
Environmental ConditionsThis position is not substantially exposed to adverse environmental conditions.

Posting Details

Number of Vacancies5
Application Open Date02/22/2021
Application Close Date03/24/2021
Posting NumberSF00621
Quick Linkhttps://jobs.ccri.edu/postings/3001
Special Instructions to ApplicantsTo ensure full consideration, complete application materials should be received by 03/24/2021, 11:59 PM (EST). Applications will not be accepted after the closing date. Finalists will be required to provide official college transcripts. If you need assistance with the online application process, please contact Human Resources at 401-825-2311. TTY: 401-825-2313.
Disability AccommodationsCCRI is committed to ensuring the full participation of all applicants throughout the recruitment process. If you should require an accommodation during the application process, please notify the Department of Institutional Equity and Human Resources prior to the closing of the posting by calling (401) 825-2311.
EEO StatementCCRI is an Equal Opportunity / Affirmative Action Employer.
We recognize that diversity and inclusivity are essential to creating a dynamic, positive and high-performing educational and work environment. We welcome applicants who can contribute to the College’s commitment to excellence created by diversity and inclusivity.
CCRI prohibits discrimination, including harassment and retaliation, on the basis of race, color, national or ethnic origin, gender, gender identity or expression, religion, disability, age, sexual orientation, genetic information, marital status, citizenship status or status as a protected veteran. Inquiries or complaints concerning discrimination shall be referred to the College’s Title IX Coordinator at: TitleIXCoordinator@ccri.edu.
The Jeanne Clery Act requires institutions of higher education to disclose campus policy statements and crime statistics. Our annual report is available here:
https://www.ccri.edu/campuspolice/pdfs/Annual%20Security%20Report%202019.pd

weighed in at 189 this morning for real

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feels familiar……like i’ve been here before, but not consciously…..i understand adrienne rich and audre lorde and bell hooks now more than ever–and toni morrison–body theory–male dominance, male gaze–the 36 year struggle to flip it off in favor of my own gaze, the black female gaze–and owning my own gaze and owning my own body, what i look like…..finding stories in gazes…..my face is alien to me today…..

How dangerous was/is Trump?

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John Giovanni Pierni on Twitter: “Trump offered Kim Jung Un a ride on Air Force One which is loaded with military secrets to a dictator who has long range missile capacities. 🤔How dangerous was/is Trump? #ONEV1 #Fam46 https://t.co/7NGoYKNpXX” / Twitter