“Being kinky without a power system”

“What does it mean to decolonise BDSM?”

“Kink supersedes race and geography”

“When I spoke to Sejake about coloniality in kink, she saw matters quite differently. She too has frequently come across the master/slave trope and the use of implements often associated with slavery. She shared a story of not enjoying engaging in play with a Black womxn that involved a stockade. However, that was not because it triggered notions of coloniality. To her, it was merely a moment in play that was intriguing but ended up not being as pleasurable as she had initially imagined. Sejake does not see the frameworks and toys typically used in kink as inherently problematic. 

“We play with chains and whips, right? Some of the toys that we play with have been used in very violent ways,” Sejake said. “[But] everything is given power and meaning if we give it. Within kink you get to play around with that power. You get to diffuse it.”  

For her, a bigger problem in kink is that it is often narrowly understood in Eurocentric and heteronormative ways as opposed to a more nuanced understanding of kink as centred around human yearning and enjoyment. She argues that the scene should be making more room for African traditions and customs. Sejake offers the example of labia stretching, which is particularly prevalent in Rwanda and Uganda but practised in several eastern and southern African countries. The custom increases sexual pleasure and facilitates orgasms and female ejaculation, but is sometimes referred to as “mutilation” in the West. Sejake believes our understanding of kink should be expanded to include African practices such as these. 

“Kink supersedes race and geography. It comes with human nature to explore, desire and play. The only difference is in the ‘how’,” she said. ”

More below:

https://africanarguments.org/2021/05/what-does-it-look-like-to-decolonise-bdsm/