weighed in at 189 this morning for real

feels familiar……like i’ve been here before, but not consciously…..i understand adrienne rich and audre lorde and bell hooks now more than ever–and toni morrison–body theory–male dominance, male gaze–the 36 year struggle to flip it off in favor of my own gaze, the black female gaze–and owning my own gaze and owning my own body, what i look like…..finding stories in gazes…..my face is alien to me today…..