lover’s letter to my stalker-predator

to you with love this holiday

en gravitas

merry Xmas stalker predator
dope fiend alcoholics huddled together for Xmas
telling people you here for the community
when all you do is political gaming hustle for money
telling folk you selling that black elite class lifestyle
like that’s social justice work
when all you do is the usual citified countrified
traveling preacher–you getting ALL this work tonight bitch
empty pockets
when you really the one out of pocket
hustling for a nonexistent paradise to
feed your liquid chemical habit and
if you still ain’t figured out how rampant and common this shit is
in the destruction of our people’s trust in our men
then you don’t understand
why you looking suspect now and
you need to check your ugly ways and
we all need to do some serious work
on healing chemical dependency and the
untreated mental health issues and
untreated childhood and adulthood traumas that
lead to chemical dependencies
criminal behavior
unethical and hurtful behaviors
all of which you are tripping on by
being addicted to your stalker predator ways that
resemble alcoholic crackhead meth-head ways
while you contemplate on
how deep the rabbit hole goes into
my thoughts on how
my recovery from decades of trauma and abuse
really depended on me seeing
how you so easily crept into my personal space
which means seeing you for
what you really are for
what you really are not for
what you really are capable of and
how you the wounded prince of pound-cake
surround yourself with wounded people
who depend on a shallow cheap imitation
of their own dream soldier-warrior but
not understanding that a voice should prompt but
not hover or obsess
produce in their own right as an example
but if a mofo ain’t producing then he she they are just hustling and so
you got ideas so you hustle but
you still gotta back that shit up or
otherwise get the fuck out the way of
the producers
the researchers
the writers
the thinkers
the teachers
the creators
because at the end of the day
bullying me does not make me produce
because it keeps me in a state
of disease distress depression
but love pours
so much knowledge and ideas from me
like lava and i initially
rode on a mistaken notion that you loved me
like i loved you and came out of my shell and
now i recognize that
my love for myself and God’s love for me is
all i need to get His Work done
through my mind body and soul
as a teacher writer thinker warrior
a leader in my own right and
now that i’m finally healing and literally/figuratively
cleaning my house up
i don’t need lying negative gaslighting
bougie wanna be intellectual niggas like you
spinning tired ass mansplain whitesplain
conservative fascist bullshit
from a whole two centuries ago
still sounding like a whole beeyotch
drinking cheap merry Xmas hootch looking scraggly
with your failed pimp step stumbling
has been zero-game sensitive special ass
bitchass nigga
still jacking off to my photos
sexless freakazoid but
still ain’t even touched or seen my pussy or ass
even i got standards
plus you suspect to me
as i’m blessed to have ZERO STDs and
i got receipts from 2020 on that
which means my thotish ass
STILL don’t ride for no suspect
no-count bitchass nigga
who moving real sleazy and untrustworthy
while i got enough issues and
even if you are clean
you got that chemical addict enabler
psychotic fucked up energy around you
that you normalized as healthy but
too toxic for my head
like you expect me to feed you love you
while you feed me toxic gaslight air
no meat nigga
you must be out your goddamn mind
that is not loving or even healthy lust or even desire
that’s old mansplaining lines like i said
little dick energy or
erectile dysfunction
liquor dick energy and
my soul is too healthy to accept
that malnourished neglected
alcoholic dependency poison from you
do better or begone
it’s that simple
enjoy your holiday bitch cause
you ain’t black enough to
appreciate the irony
of your own bourgeois bullshit logic
making you look extra special ghettoliciously
simple ass ignoramously stupid ass
desert-thirsty
over-the-hill-Viagra-dependent
checkers-playing-while-we-playing-chess
carpet-bagging-in-reverse
crack house living bitch-set-me-up-lying-creepy
predator stalker
still searching every browser for my website
because you too much of a bitch to
save your own searches on your own computer
because you on lock-down in that meth lab crib
with your black Heisenberg-wanna-be ass
still ain’t ready to get money
because you still producing ZERO products
and you know that a real man delivers products
not empty promises and empty pockets
you bitchass bitchmade bitchowned
step n fetch it
bitchass house nigga
merry Xmas bitch