not a mule

I do not hate men. I do not hate. I do not accept male dominance as my center of existence.

I am not a mule or object, and I do not allow men of any race or background to treat me as such. I do not allow anyone, especially men, to gaslight or ‘groom’ me (i.e., manipulation), emotionally or spiritually.

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

In 2020 we who are women who resist patriarchy and male supremacy are still being accused of hatred for men. It’s time we take back our personal power and our health and stand up for ourselves–resist any attempts to go back to those dehumanizing times.

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

As for you, Mr. [name redacted to protect both of us], I don’t think you are evil, but what you did this fall showed me you are capable of doing some things in the name of political expediency that are indeed evil or at the very least harmful to vulnerable groups of people who are not considered influential or significant enough to matter to certain socioeconomic political interests in the District.

Why did you do this?

You basically took a figurative piss in my face and figuratively told me to go fuck myself–and then you actually increased the online stalking bit because you really did want to stand out. Why?

Seemed kind of dumb to me, but COVID-19 and MAGA must have encouraged you to embrace some bad habits.

Were you one of the 18% of Black men who voted for that racist, misogynistic asshole?

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

You keep coming back for the photos and an opening–and I keep saying the same thing: a true-blue conversation is needed where honesty, clarity, empathy, and boundaries are discussed on both ends.

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

You are the reason for the current conditions in this complicated situation–not me. Why and how?

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

Because you will not admit to me or yourself that you have an issue with women who refuse to be manipulated by you, which says much about your own lack of confidence in yourself in your own life, personally.

Is it possible for you to be a moderate or conservative while not being hateful, cruel, manipulative to women in your own community?

You seem to be having issues treating me with respect or dignity: could it be you can’t respect me or treat me like a human being because your dick got in the way?

And if so, does that apply to every single woman who gets your dick’s attention? Or just the ones who you didn’t “put a ring on it”?

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

If this is too painful to read or consider, seek out someone who can guide you.

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

Or just stop coming to my blog and my other social media accounts–and stop talking about me and asking about me to [name redacted].

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

When I see you’ve finally stopped blowing up my stats and altering my numbers post-audit, I’ll be able to complete my process of removing you from my presence.

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

COVID-19 is an excellent time to remove people from your already small circle–and since you started this process this fall with your caper, let’s finish the process so you can move on to another target for your game and I can move on to a man or woman who actually intends to engage in a healthy friendship and/or lovership.

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

I mean, this is what you wanted, right?

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

You got what you wanted from me, right?

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

If you didn’t, what was the fucking point?

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

I’m still wondering why you gave me your other cell phone number this fall–a question you refuse to answer, along with other questions.

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

You created this mess.

I actually do love you, still, and I’m willing to help us both get the confusion and hurt feelings sorted out.

No, I’m not angry, but I insist that we not make the same mistakes and that you start saying something other than “politics,” or “it’s political.”

I’m not stupid or dense. I’ve literally been around the world (see my passport, fool), and I’ve lived in this fucked up town longer than you.

Telling me something is “political” is like you slapping my face and telling me don’t take it personal, honey.

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

You take the lead and fix it, or wallow in your rep as a lying, aging, pretty-face who won’t step up to the plate and take a swing at life because you fear a fast-moving ball you initially threw into the game we call life will make you crack that perfect face into a grimace as it hits you back.

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]

Play the game, or stay on the sidelines like a bitch dressed for the game in your uniform but too scared to pick up your bat to swing.

You can’t keep hiding yourself from reality.

[Oh you didn’t mean it like that? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You’ve too busy protecting your lousy rep to tell me what you meant to say or do.]