gaslight hymn/hymen

how to channel your feelings
like so many men
you fear
you despise
you desire
a woman who
says yes
says no
in other words
voices a decision
positive
negative
in other words
consent
i am
a foreigner
to you
i am
alien
to you
my sexuality being
my voice being
my light being
willfully
gloriously
defiant
resistant
distant
to beck and call
of marital call of duty
or other notions
of respectability
that mutes female eros
my sexuality being
too loud
too visible
too tangible
too intangible
to ignore
or control
i am deprogrammed
from the cultish
hymns and calls
to sleep again and ignore
the obvious
i smashed my tv and
the gaslight is on fire