Goodnight, Year 52.

It’s been a good year for me. Welcome to my early to mid 50s. Seems like I need to consider expanding my creative voice a bit more and truly publish it much more, as well as complete what I need to send out into the academic ocean of voices. Love woke me from the slumber of despair, and it fuels my drive to continue my work. “Love is the law, love under will.”

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Psalm 109

Psalm 109

My God, whom I praise,
do not remain silent,
for people who are wicked and deceitful
have opened their mouths against me;
they have spoken against me with lying tongues.
With words of hatred they surround me;
they attack me without cause.
In return for my friendship they accuse me,
but I am a man of prayer.
They repay me evil for good,
and hatred for my friendship.

Appoint someone evil to oppose my enemy;
let an accuser stand at his right hand.
When he is tried, let him be found guilty,
and may his prayers condemn him.
May his days be few;
may another take his place of leadership.
May his children be fatherless
and his wife a widow.
10 May his children be wandering beggars;
may they be driven[a] from their ruined homes.
11 May a creditor seize all he has;
may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor.
12 May no one extend kindness to him
or take pity on his fatherless children.
13 May his descendants be cut off,
their names blotted out from the next generation.
14 May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the Lord;
may the sin of his mother never be blotted out.
15 May their sins always remain before the Lord,
that he may blot out their name from the earth.

16 For he never thought of doing a kindness,
but hounded to death the poor
and the needy and the brokenhearted.
17 He loved to pronounce a curse—
may it come back on him.
He found no pleasure in blessing—
may it be far from him.
18 He wore cursing as his garment;
it entered into his body like water,
into his bones like oil.
19 May it be like a cloak wrapped about him,
like a belt tied forever around him.
20 May this be the Lord’s payment to my accusers,
to those who speak evil of me.

21 But you, Sovereign Lord,
help me for your name’s sake;
out of the goodness of your love, deliver me.
22 For I am poor and needy,
and my heart is wounded within me.
23 I fade away like an evening shadow;
I am shaken off like a locust.
24 My knees give way from fasting;
my body is thin and gaunt.
25 I am an object of scorn to my accusers;
when they see me, they shake their heads.

26 Help me, Lord my God;
save me according to your unfailing love.
27 Let them know that it is your hand,
that you, Lord, have done it.
28 While they curse, may you bless;
may those who attack me be put to shame,
but may your servant rejoice.
29 May my accusers be clothed with disgrace
and wrapped in shame as in a cloak.

30 With my mouth I will greatly extol the Lord;
in the great throng of worshipers I will praise him.
31 For he stands at the right hand of the needy,
to save their lives from those who would condemn them.

Amen.

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nine of swords (crowley)

almost got trapped
but got saved
by the whole of the law
by discernment of entombed verity
observations of the obvious
excruciations of the truth
how hustlers giving you dust
and liars taking your trust
mindfucking you
while calling you a whore
while lying to your face
while muting your voice in lace
haggish formation of recycled rebukes
trolling ensemble of bitch made brood
demons in an earnestly cacophonous furor
so mote it be on sight then
for there is no outside the truth

ancient antique armor armour

Understanding me

 

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I’m not posting my birthchart, though if you already know my birthday (and my birth time for the rising sign), you can pretty much generate my birthchart.  On the other hand, I’m very much about helping people understand me.  I’ve lifted some explanations of planets in signs populating my birth chart (or some–remember, I’m not trying to share my birthday info here) from an astrology site coming closest to what I see as accuracy (cafeastrologydotcom) personality-wise.

In short, if you want to understand how I tend to think, feel, express, love, like, dislike, ignore, focus on, etc., take a moment to look through, and think about my writing such as my poetry, my interests, or even the emotional/spiritual energy on this blog.

Enjoy!

Sun in Libra

Libra natives are generally thought to be sociable, somewhat intellectual souls. They have an almost innocent way about them that makes them very approachable. Generally quite eager to cooperate, Librans spend a lot of their time trying not to rock the boat.

In theory, Libras are peace-loving. In practice, they can quietly stir up all sorts of trouble with their ways. Because Libra enjoys balance in their lives, they seek the middle ground. In the process, they may end up trying to be everything to everyone. This is where their reputation for untruthfulness comes from. Generally, their untruths spring from a true desire for peace and fairness–although they may not be comfortable with direct and malicious trickery, they feel totally justified when they lie in order to avoid making waves. Peace at any price! In this sense, they seem harmless. But, what can result is quite a ruckus! People involved with Libras may crib about their lack of directness and their apparent inability to take a stand. Librans are experts at avoiding being the one to blame. When confronted, they’ll (calmly and reasonably) say, “What, me? No, I just want peace.”

“On the fence”, “middle ground”, “middle road” — these are all expressions that we can safely associate with Libra.

Some more powerful signs may consider Libra a little on the weak side. This is all a matter of opinion, however! Without Libra, life simply wouldn’t be as fair.

Librans are known for comparing and thinking in relative terms, instead of in absolutes. This weekend is not just a good weekend, it’s better than last weekend. These people are always looking for the “best” way or the “right” way to live. Harmony is the ultimate goal, but their idealism and high expectations can mean plenty of discontent. Since life presents all of us with an extraordinary amount of choices, if Libra doesn’t learn to live in the moment at least some of the time, they’ll be in a constant state of unrest.

Society needs rules, and these rules attempt to bring justice, equality, and fairness. On an individual level, Libra represents these laws of civilization. Libra comes across as very civilized and rather refined.

Moon in Aquarius

Moon in Aquarius people are extremely observant. They are lifetime students of human nature, loving to analyze why people do what they do. This often stems from a detached–even shy–personality, especially in youth. Whether due to character or conditioning, Moon in Aquarius people often grow up feeling “different”. Although rather sociable, they are often loners at heart. Many have strong egos, or at least powerful defense mechanisms, and most Lunar Aquarians will do their best to be the most unique and unusual person they can be. Their inner feeling of loneliness —that they don’t quite fit in— puts them on the outside, looking in.

There is a very idealistic and progressive streak in Lunar Aquarians that is admirable indeed. However, when the Moon is in Aquarius, natives often will deny the more irrational qualities of emotions—such as jealousy, possessiveness, and fear—in an effort to be “above” what they consider “pettiness”. When this goes too far, Lunar Aquarians can be emotionally blocked, distant, and detached.

Lunar Aquarians can be very willful, especially in childhood. With age, these natives generally learn to handle their strong needs. Their desire for independence is powerful indeed, no matter what their age. With a quiet Sun and/or Ascendant, their desire to “shock” others is not always apparent until a relationship becomes comfortable. They are generally proud of their family members, boasting just how unique they are. When their families are ultra-conservative, the boast will be that they rebelled against all of that!

Although given to temper tantrums and willful behavior in youth, Moon in Aquarius people often grow up feeling that messy emotions are unappealing. They often pride themselves for being cool-headed, detached, and “above” what they consider the baser emotions. In the process, they can end up alienating others—and themselves. Although Lunar Aquarians can be especially adept at understanding others’ behavior and motivations, they can lose touch with their own—simply because they have identified too strongly with what they aspire to be (and these aspirations are often super-human).

The Aquarian tendency to be humanitarian shows up powerfully in Moon in Aquarius. However, their kindness and concern for others is generally more a broad philosophy of life. With people close to them, Moon in Aquarius natives can seemingly lack compassion, as they often fully expect others to be as independent and detached as they are! In close, personal relationships, however, Lunar Aquarians generally give others a lot of personal freedom, and they will tolerate and enjoy all kinds of idiosyncrasies in people around them.

Moon in Aquarius people are rarely flighty people, but they can be unreliable when it concerns the little things in life. Often, this is simply an assertion of their independence. In the long haul, however, they are rather constant, as Aquarius is a fixed sign. As long as they have their own space and the freedom to be themselves, however kooky that may be, they are trustworthy and loyal.

Lunar Aquarians generally make wonderful friends. They’ll make a point of leaving nobody on the outside. Many will fight for other’s rights and crusade for equality.

What may be surprising is that Moon in Aquarius people have a lot of pride. In fact, when they’ve been attacked in any way (especially regarding their character), they can become very inflexible and cool. It can be difficult to know just how sensitive to criticism Lunar Aquarians are, simply because they hide it so well! When their character or behavior has been criticized, they tend to dig in their heels and keep right on doing it. They fully expect others to accept them exactly as they are, or they don’t have much use for them in their lives.

These sometimes maddeningly unpredictable people are nevertheless quite charming. They have an unmistakable stubborn streak, but when left to be themselves, they make unusual and endlessly interesting people to be around. Life just wouldn’t be the same without Lunar Aquarians’ unusual spin on the world and the people in it!

Venus in Virgo

Venus in Virgo people are not the flirtatious sort. Instead, their appeal lies in their dedication, their willingness to work on the relationship, and to make the relationship work in real terms. Unlike Venus in Leo, they won’t try to impress you with grand gifts or promises. Their gifts are less showy, but perhaps far more generous — gifts of devotion and attention to details about you.

Venus in Virgo men and women quietly (and often slowly) make their way into your heart. They are quite sensitive in love — even insecure — and this reserved, loner-like quality is part of their appeal. They prefer to play it safe in their relationships, and they need to be confident that you like them before they make a move. They are great listeners and they make it a habit to observe and learn all of your ins and outs. Their love can be of the Kindergarten variety — they show they care by nagging or criticizing. Remember, though, that they are not trying to hurt you when they are pointing out the flaws in your thinking, plans, or even character. They truly are trying to help! Venus in Virgo is attracted to nondescript people who have largely gone unnoticed. Show-offs and know-it-alls turn them off.

Pleasing Venus in Virgo involves showing you appreciate them for all the little things they do — and they do a lot. The problem is, they do these things so quietly that you may not always notice or credit them for all these kind gestures. They do need some space (after all, they’re generally quite busy making everything work), so give it to them. Be genuine, not ostentatious. They are really not difficult to please after you have taken care of these basic needs. Avoid pushing your friends or family on them too fast — remember they are a little shy. They aim to please, and are easily intimidated by your experiences. Let them know how much you value them, and they will reward you with devotion and a charming willingness to talk things out.

This position of Mars gives a drive for significance. Mars in Leo individuals possess a strong need to create in some way—and they are determined that their lives have not only meaning, but significant meaning!

This is a particularly vital position of Mars. Passions run high, and so does desire. There is a strong will that gives these natives much staying power. Though Mars in Leo people will enjoy the pleasures of risk-taking, they generally have a strong sense of reason at the end of the day.

Mars in Leo

Mars in Leo people often have well-defined ambitions. Rarely will you find a person with Mars in this position who lives life without a true sense of a “calling”. They act with authority and power, and their personal magnetism generally endows them with the ability to get what they want.

This is one of the more sexual positions of Mars. While they are rather easy to arouse, their passion is long-standing. Mars in Leo natives enjoy sex more than most, as long as heavy doses of love and romance are part of the package. In partnership, they demand loyalty and admiration.

Impatient with small-mindedness and disloyalty, Mars in Leo natives generally have a strong idealistic streak. They easily get fired up when they feel they’ve been humiliated, and they defend their high principles with ardor.

Mars in Leo natives act with their heart. Their ego is tied up with their actions, so that most anything they do becomes a source of great pride. Though some are self-righteous and quarrelsome, the more sophisticated people with this position are kindly leaders.

Mercury in Libra

Libra communicators come across as very pleasing. Diplomacy comes naturally to these natives. At the very least, they take many pains to be diplomatic. Whether they succeed or not depends on their audience—but more on that later.

Mercury in Libra people long for equality in the intellectual world. They view mental affinity as one of the most important themes in any relationship they have. If they are not getting it (and many do not), they should look within themselves for answers. Perhaps they are trying too hard to score intellectual points with their partners instead of truly listening to what they are saying. Mercury in Libra attempts always to be fair in any discussion, but to more personal communicators, Libra’s constant comparisons can, in effect, seem unfair! Libra can go off on so many tangents, and offer excessive disclaimers for any opinion presented, that they end up all over the place.

If you think Virgo is critical and a perfectionist, spend some time with a Mercury in Libra person (and many of them have Virgo Suns too). They can’t quite help themselves. But because they always aim to be kind and fair, they employ tact to get their message across. Mercury in Libra comes across in an unassuming manner, and handles people with care. When they find fault with others, they express it gently, consciously tending to others’ comfort levels. One accountant I know whose Mercury is in Libra feels she instinctively hones in on imbalances in her work. When her co-worker was struggling with “balancing the books”, this lady immediately saw her co-worker’s oversight. Instead of simply pointing it out and risking embarrassing him, she pointed to the general area of the mistake and said, “perhaps the problem is somewhere here?” This way, she stayed out of trouble, and no one had to feel uncomfortable.

Mercury in Libra looks for compromise. Middle ground is constantly sought. In fact, they are extraordinarily uncomfortable with extremes of opinion! This makes them excellent counselors and go-betweens, but it also gives rise to plenty of indecision in their personal lives. In their desire to find the best, fairest, most just choice, they can swing from a pro to a con, and back to a pro again–but we can’t forget another “con” just to balance the last “pro”. It can be dizzying for others to observe! They simply can’t help but see the other side. This maddening characteristic leads to a strange paradox — they can end up seemingly incapable of giving a compliment without a “but”. After all, complimenting you is essentially drawing a conclusion, or forming an opinion. This is a paradox because Libra is charming, but give them a little time with something, and they will have a hard time arriving at a totally good (or totally bad) conclusion.

Their ability to think in the abstract gives them a good measure of objectivity. These people have a subtle intelligence. Their thoughts are generally dominated by relative thinking–they simply can’t seem to evaluate their environment without comparing one thing with an other. This trait contributes to refined tastes.

Mercury in Libra is generally good at making connections with others, but remember that Libra can be a lazy sign–and for Mercury in Libra natives, this means mental laziness. This can prevent them from following up and maintaining the connections they’ve made.

Mercury in Libra hates to be thought of as the bad guy (or gal), and can end up trying to make too many people happy.

Mercury in Libra often has to turn to others for opinions when making a decision. The maddening part of it is this: Give these people an answer to their question, and they’ll probably take the other side. For example, if they are deciding between two different restaurants, and you give them an answer, they are almost sure to suddenly see the other restaurant’s merits. These natives play devil’s advocate far too often. Many times they don’t even truly believe the side they have taken–they are simply engaging in an intellectual argument. Mercury in Libra would be wise to look inside themselves to do a check on what they really feel every now and again. They can get so caught up in trying to win an argument and correcting the (perceived) biases in others’ beliefs and actions that they totally lose sight of what really matters to them.

Grace

Trust and belief
realness and joy
a very rare thing to see
a genuine passion for humanity
caring enough to give to all
imaginative
enough to at least try
enough to empathize
sharing that same joy
a grace-filled soul who smiles.

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